Last Tuesday The White House Press Secretary issued a statement after a bill that aimed to tackle the rising interest rates for student loans was blocked. The bill was intended to lower current interest rates replacing a plan to increase them. The bill was blocked by Senate Republicans keen to take a dump on the young based on the fact that they earn less then $1 million per annum and therefore don’t count as real people.
The statement called for parties to unite and address this issue.
“But now it’s time for them to stop refighting old political battles and prove they’re serious by proposing a real solution to keep rates low for students without burdening middle class families,” the statement says. “We look forward to continuing to work with Congress to prevent rates from doubling and ensure that students continue to get a fair shot at an affordable education.”
Interest rates on some loans are set to double after July 1 leaving students paying back a whopping 6.8 percent. Students and politicians who aren’t evil are trying to repeal this decision. The higher rates will only affect students taking out loans after July 1st, old loans will be charged at the old rate of 3.4 percent.
Democrats proposed the bill is repealed and asked for $6 billion to prevent the increase in rates. But seeing as students are not a) banks b) super rich and c) not criminals the bill has been blocked. One Republican politician was overheard saying:
“I can’t believe they expect me to vote to help students financially – I mean, they’re not even Satanist”.