President of Tuft’s Overturns Decision by Political Correctness Nazis
Tuft’s University Rowing Team decided to join their fellow students in a bit of fun at the annual ‘Spring Fling’ on the 1st May. As many modern students are wont to do, the team printed and wore matching t-shirts as a celebration of team spirit. The t-shirts showed a silhouette of a rowing team with the phrase, “check out our cox” underneath. Har-di-har indeed.
The joke here was that, in professional rowing, there is a teammate known as the “coxswain” who sits at the front of the boat shouting directions. In rowing jargon the term is shortened to “cox” which sounds hilariously like “cocks” which is the vulgar term for a man’s penis. So you see the joke.
The t-shirts refer to the grand virility of youth and celebrate youngmanhood. They playfully refer to the Jungian warrior archetype from whom athletes draw inspirations. This is all perfectly apt considering the fact that Tufts would soon be sending these fine specimens of masculinity out to compete at the ECAC Championships.
Not so for one particular student who bravely stood up against what he/she saw as a sexist tyranny by complaining via anonymous email – Mary Woolstencraft would be so proud. The email was sent to the Dean of Student Affairs who was quick to brand the logo “too phallic and promoted aggression and rape”.
This is insane beyond belief. The exact phrase was “check out our cox”. In common parlance, the phrase “check out” constitutes an invitation, not an imperative. Implicitly, the women who are invited to “check out our cox” are at perfect liberty to take up the offer or refuse it. There is not a trace of aggression in this clause and to suggest that it promotes rape beggers belief. Finally, to criticize the shape of the boat as “too phallic” is just plain absurd. Perhaps the Dean would approve a plan to reengineer our aircraft and rockets into the shape of giant vaginas? The young men in question were subjected to the ritual humiliation of writing letters of apology and were suspended from competing in the upcoming championship.
Some semblance of sanity returned when University President Anthony Monaco overturned the decision to suspend the athletes last week citing a protection of ‘freedom of speech’. However, his decision did not go far enough. In an open letter to the team he stated that “the written apologies you have offered for breaking team rules and for any unintentional offense your tee-shirts caused, constitute sufficient consequence”. What was needed was a full overturning of this insane censorship and a retraction of the rower’s apologies. Perhaps the President could have posed for a photo wearing one of the offending shirts himself. I would have enthusiastically applauded that.
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