Pajamas and the Decline of Everything you Hold Dear
Slowly but surely the trend has been growing. Wearing pajamas outside the home has now become slightly more socially acceptable and no group in society has embraced this development then our legions of slothful students.
Doing nothing to disseminate the image of students as indolent wastrels, the trend for undergraduates to wear pajamas to class has some mentally retarded people worried that this is the first step in the decline of society.
Take, for instance, Louisiana’s school Commissioner, Michael Williams who claimed in a recent interview that “The moral fiber in America is dwindling away… It’s pajamas today; what is it going to be tomorrow? Walking around in your underwear?” In her rigid, fear-based mind normal laziness among young people is going to lead to some kind of orgiastic renewal of ape-like behavior which could well see students flinging their own feces at war veterans.
A student was quoted in The Daily Pennsylvanian as saying, “I do it because I wake up and I don’t feel like getting ready.” And fair play to her. Most people spend their whole lives wearing prescribed garments. Suits, for example, are rarely comfortable and are expensive to buy and maintain.
The spunky students of today are the dead-eyed office drones of tomorrow. Their futures may well hold for them situations where they are required to sit for long hours at a computer station or sit through a meeting which, as Dave Barry observed, “are addictive, highly self-indulgent activities that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot masturbate”. The hell of it all has not yet begun so why not chill out in your jammies while you still have the chance?
The debate continues. David Beriau, dean of students in Bennington, Vt had this to say, “If you come to school like you’re going to go to bed, it says a lot about your lack of motivation… It creates an atmosphere where people feel like, ‘The next thing I’m going to do is slouch. And why not nod off?’” And he has a point. After all, the most essential cause for people falling asleep is the wearing of pajamas. I mean, it is not as if you ever see anyone in jeans fall asleep or any naked people fall asleep do you?
Professors in liberal education have more reasonsed responses to this trend, “All I care about is that they are in class,” Political Science professor Robert Vitalis told the Daily Pennsylvanian, “If they want to do it in pajamas or anything else, great.”
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